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my kitty - Pixel

MERRY CHRISTMAS...

here's a story for you from me:

A long long long time ago, Santa was born on a world very much like
our own, it had lots of forests and Santa was the one who connected
all life together by the roots of the trees and the lightning of the
sky . Life was beyond blissful on this world,as it was a fine
example of how life can chose to be unified and mutually uplifting. no
children had to fear pain or death or harm of any kind inflicted by another,
children never cried out of sadness there. What we call love pales in
comparison to this worlds emotion, and there wasn't a creature alive
who didn't share in the wonder of it.
Well the universe is an ironic place and this world was not to last.
At a point where Santa's... lets call them elves... were about to reach a
point in their progress where they didn't need a physical body
any longer, there was a terrible disaster. A huge comet was heading
toward the planet at incredible speed. Santa of course was the first
to feel its approach, his people had no telescopes or technology of
any kind. they didn't need it. Santa had a dream of sorts, though he
wasn't asleep, of the impending doom actually happening before it
happened. The moment he came out of this state every creature on the
planet instantly knew about their doom. But the elves did not panic
or fear for their lives, death was their constant teacher, they were
prepared. Within one of our hours, all life on the planet was joined
together in a concert of mind and body. If someone was close enough
to hold hands it was done.Billions were joined by the simple act of
holding hands and uniting their mind energies. The whole planet began
to become radiant like a sun. And moments before the comet struck
they all shrunk into an infinetly small point of light, alll that was
living on the planet as folded into that tiny speak. The comet struck,
and completely obliterated their world, but no child died.
The wake of the blast carried Santa and the elves across 3 spirals of
suns, for an uncounted measure of time they drifted on the winds of
stars. Finally they were drawn to a beautiful blue world ripe with
potential but utterly sterile due to its youth. On landing they
drifted on a sea for a million sun rises. Of course they couldn't just revert
to the way they were before, they made the decision to fuse and
things would never be the same. But the imagination of a world full of life
dreaming together is quite a thing indeed. They dreamed new forms,
and their creation reflected their mind. They made a sphere of themselves
and folded back out, It was a long slow process by the suns movement
. But to them it was like lightning! soon they had worked themselves
into new bodies that changed and adapted to their new environment
very quickly.
Countless rotations later one group left the waters and sprouted
legs, changing its perception entierly, adapting, growing. Then they
acquired a form much like what the elves had before, and they
conceived themselves again. The change was such that they forgot all
the long journey up to this point. They forgot how to communicate with
mind alone. They forgot their own world and the unity with Santa.
These new beings, spread across the new planet. Eventually on of them
encountered Santa again, though he was much different now. He was
found under a tree, still wearing red and white, Santa was the first
flower. This being we will call Adam, and he intuited that the best
way to know a thing is to eat it. Adam ate and remembered, and saw
himself for the first time, he saw the unity and the separation and
knew them to be only ideas. Grand and wonderful and terrible and
frightening. Adam Decided to share what he had learned with his mate
who was named Eve, and she ate. Having acquired self awareness they
forgot the unity for the 'realness' of their new way of seeing, and
were fearful of death and all that was unknown. Their fear moved them
into more comfortable frames of reference, but in so doing they forgot
what they had. And they way they became was the way it was, movement of
a point became a rare thing among their people. Even going as far as
labeling those who could move their point as having a sickness. And the
idea of separation grew in proportion to population.
But they heard his voice! and he said, "Be fruitful and multiply so
the story can begin again if need be, when your number is as the
stars in the sky, you shall remember what to do." The next day Adam
and Eve became fearful of the voice and it was soon made to be heard no
more.
In later generations many learned the secret of Santa's flower and
gave it godlike status, among many lands it was revered and made a legend
incarnate. But the separation was to push even these out of importance,
and soon Santa was transformed into something awful in the minds of
the children of Adam and Eve. Becoming a symbol of consumerism and
religious dogmatism that disregarded all other concepts. Yet he always was
with the children, in their books and in their dreams.
And always we remember Santa's gift under the tree and what It means
to us (even if we forgot) for what we may become again. He lives under your
feet on roads of silk connecting all the trees in all the forests wherever there are
trees, and the trees shine with his presence. This is why we put lights on the
trees and presents under them. As a symbolic remembrance of the king of the elves.

*Amen*

Well girls, I hope you are healthy, happy and have everything that you need. I miss
you and love you very very much. I also hope Santa brought you some AWESOME
gifts, because I know you have been good and deserve to.

Someday I'll see you again...
Your mom,
Becky

I should have thought of this sooner....

Yesterday I got this idea to start a blog to express all of my feelings to my two girls whom I gave up for adoption. I have spent hours online looking for any news about how they are and searched endless hours in hopes of finding even one photo....I know that they will look for me when they are older but I miss them SOOO MUCH. Words cannot express. I see them in my dreams, but I am sure they have changed over the years....I hope they are healthy and happy and want to let them know that I love them and can't wait to see them again someday.